I thought I'd change the subject, so I told him he was pretty famous, that he was carved into Mount Rushmore in South Dakota along with Washington and Jefferson. I had a picture in my shirt pocket of me and my wife standin in front of Mt. Rushmore when we was there on the Harley for Sturgis. Why I had that particular picture in my shirt I don't know, but in the dream it all seemed OK. I showed it to him and he recognized me right away. I told him I wanted to get the Harley into the picture, but the guard said no, I couldn't ride it up the steps.
Sunday, May 22, 2011
An Idea
I was gettin a bit sluggish this winter, and so decided maybe I could write a cookbook lose weight and make some money all at the same time.
The best way it seemed to me, was just do the opposite of normal. So I decided to only eat stuff that didn't taste good. No ice cream, pizza, steaks, coffee with sugar, etc. So I got a bunch of them little diet TV dinners that stink when you microwave em. Makes writin the cookbook easy too. Doesn't matter what you write in it, because it's suppose to taste bad. Pictures should look good though, to get their hopes up and get them to buy it. They get it home, try it out and everybody wins! They lose weight cause the food tastes bad, I make money cause they bought it, and if I make the book thick with lots of extra pages, they'll need to cut a lot of trees down to make it, so maybe some unemployed loggers go back to work.
And then I had me a second idea. What if I put salt on ice cream so's it wouldn't taste good? Or mustard on pie. I tried it out with a big bowl of vanilla, and it tasted so bad I threw it out. Sometimes when you drive up a new road, you take a wrong turn.
Now ordinarily when I come up with a good idea like this I'd have a cigar and a beer to celebrate. But a fake electrical cigarette and an alcohol-free beer don't really sound like a celebration, so I had me a mint flavored toothpick instead. Tasted kind of good, so I poked myself with it when I was done to even things out.
The best way it seemed to me, was just do the opposite of normal. So I decided to only eat stuff that didn't taste good. No ice cream, pizza, steaks, coffee with sugar, etc. So I got a bunch of them little diet TV dinners that stink when you microwave em. Makes writin the cookbook easy too. Doesn't matter what you write in it, because it's suppose to taste bad. Pictures should look good though, to get their hopes up and get them to buy it. They get it home, try it out and everybody wins! They lose weight cause the food tastes bad, I make money cause they bought it, and if I make the book thick with lots of extra pages, they'll need to cut a lot of trees down to make it, so maybe some unemployed loggers go back to work.
And then I had me a second idea. What if I put salt on ice cream so's it wouldn't taste good? Or mustard on pie. I tried it out with a big bowl of vanilla, and it tasted so bad I threw it out. Sometimes when you drive up a new road, you take a wrong turn.
Now ordinarily when I come up with a good idea like this I'd have a cigar and a beer to celebrate. But a fake electrical cigarette and an alcohol-free beer don't really sound like a celebration, so I had me a mint flavored toothpick instead. Tasted kind of good, so I poked myself with it when I was done to even things out.
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Excerpt from my new book...
Leon's a cat skinner, and one day he's building fire trail, driving his Cat along this steep grade, and somebody falls a tree right on top of him. A limb nearly took his head off. We cut him out of the cab with a torch, the doctors sewed his head back on, gave him one of them voice vibrators so he could talk, and he cracked up the kids by smoking cigarettes through the hole in his neck. You gotta admire a guy like that.
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